Understanding

Stop Killing Games - 30-04-2024 - Aleena - this is an effort to force publishers to stop killing games after support is dropped, forcing them to allow players to keep these games alive by leaving them access to copies of the game, and self-host servers. it's this simple act that they can plan for in the future that would preserve games, and yet, they are intentionally destroying this. they are intentionally blocking this from happening. #stopkillinggames

trump's shitty agenda 47 - 3-10-2024 - Aleena - this is an agenda trump has to try and destroy this country and destroy any democracy. he wants to exterminate trans people, deport as many as he can, and so many other horrible things that i won't list here. look up his bullshit if you don't believe me, and i'm telling you right now that if you have even a shred of humanity and respect for people: vote against him. this isn't even a matter of politics, it's a matter of respect for free will, and fellow humans. if the 2024 elections go south we may be MIA for a time as we flee this country before he decides to execute trans people like us. and no, i am not kidding when i say he may decide he wants that. trump is a racist and mentally unstable cunt going on a power trip that's trying to turn this country into his own delusional backing track and veritable gestapo. sure, Biden isn't much better, he's senile, but he's not trying to destroy this country. if you're able to run for president, fucking do it, you'll likely be a more attractive option than either one.

Post-Pacebi Culling - 1-27-2024 - Alixian - hey, since we left Pacebi, we're tryna get rid of Discord eventually and phase it out in favour of another platform. so far some of our friends ain't wanting to go to the new platform, Signal, so i'm removing some of them, so if you're removed, add us on Signal, and more info can be found on the Connections page. that or, you can just stay removed if you didn't value us as friends too much. your choice.

Leaving Pacebi - 1-22-2024 - Aleena - the server was great and fun but, i've been kinda tired of moderating and stuff and behind the scenes things were being changed by Daysant, the owner at the time, and i didn't like the direction they were taking the server as it's not what i signed up for, so i left after voting with my system. it was unanimous. that said, if you want to stay friends, feel free to add us.

Helping Arcanist System - Aleena - our friend Arcanist System needs some help with college, we linked their GoFundMe on our Stuff For Friends page over on Random Recollections

With A Coin, Two-Faced And Binary, I Shall Drop An Axe Upon The Frauds, And Crown Those Who Are Worthy - Aleena - i'm cutting out and removing a lot of fake friends over the next few days, thinning the herd to only those who truly care.

Regarding A Close Call With Kidnapping - Zonarshi - Aleena was fronting and went on a walk and someone was suspicious and stopped around 20-30 feet behind us in their car, after per saw them stop earlier along per walking route and get a garbage bag from the backseat. i popped into co con when they approached, then took front to let Aleena go to the Inner World. - 10-30-2022

Regarding The Culling - Alixian - so i recently got rid of, blocked, or removed a lot of friends, if you were caught in that, well, too bad, you're being too much of a drain on my system.

Regarding A Friend's Suicide - Sarshi - this person was Winter AKA Leah, some of you may know her by either name, but she was a close friend of Aleena's. even if they were on bad terms when she ended her life, Aleena is still hurt, and traumatised and really broken up because Aleena still cared about her, so I'll be fronting for a while starting July 20th, 2022. if you feel like this, or are thinking about it, please do not hesitate to reach out for help to a friend, family, or people online who can help you, and if you really need, please call One Of These Hotlines this list has them for every country on wikipedia.

The Covid Booster - Zonarshi - the Covid booster is fine, and you should get it, although if you have DID like us, it seems it is switch inducing, so ask an Alter who has a tolerance for that to front while your body gets used to it, also try sleeping a lot to waste time and let your body have an easier time taking it - for Announcement Banner

firstly, what is DID? DID stands for Dissociative Identity Disorder, and it is a very complex trauma disorder where you go through such an extreme traumatic experience at a young age, when your personality is first forming, that your mind goes "nope, i'm not going to live, i'm going to die", and it's unable to integrate your childhood ego states into one cohesive personality and identity, and you create what are called Alters

Alters are the terms for the different (people/personalities/facets) of the system, this is the proper term and the one in parentheses are simply common terms that someone might use if they don't understand. Alters typically have different functions in a system, for example, Self Helpers may act as a "therapist", Protectors will protect the system from toxic people, dangerous situations, etc, Trauma Holders may hold the memories of trauma that the system went through, so as to keep the system from feeling too much pain, among other roles.

a System is the term for a collective of Alters, for example, us Alters are Nebula System, which is our collective name, or, System Name, these are really cool or interesting names, and tend to be or relate to things that have many variations, like for us, there's gases and colors, and all sorts of other "things" in nebulas, like there's many different Alters in our system. other examples may be Celestial System, who, and this is a direct quote, "found certain aspects in that name to fit who we are as alters and with what our names mean", another example is The Punk Rock System, who chose that name because "the majority in our system LOVE rock music and we felt that punk rock system would be a great name for our system"

another term is Groundwork, which means self discovery that an Alter will do to discover themselves and find out who they are, and build their sense of self, and really solidify who they are, both within the system, and to others, and to themselves.

these are just a few simple terms.

one other term you may hear is "Singlet" which is used to refer to someone who is not a system, someone without Alters, who is singular, like most people reading this will be.

now, you may be asking "what do i do if i meet someone with DID?" well, treat them like normal, the only difference is that you may only talk to some alters some days, and other alters other days, and you're essentially getting not just one friend, but multiple if you treat them right. also, do not fakeclaim them or say they're faking, it does more harm than good, and if they are (however rare it is) it will be obvious, as they will use "oh that Alter did that" as an excuse to avoid punishment and making things right, when in fact it is the system's responsibility to try and put those actions right, which is typically the only reason someone will fake DID, however, if this happens, tell them it's their system responsibility, and if they say it's not or something along the lines of disagreeing, then say "well then i think you just are toxic, so i will block you" and proceed to block them, because if they're faking, it will make them realise that it gets them nothing, no way out, or if they are a system, they will realise they need to be better, and improve upon themselves.

some additional notes:
1: mental age of an Alter is NOT always the same as the body's mental age, so if that alter gives you one age, ask for clarification on the body's age and the Alter's mental age (which can be important for consent and other things)

2: Alters are separate, and should be kept that way unless stated otherwise, meaning don't tell one Alter about doing stuff with another Alter that they do not wish to know or talk about, and some Alters may wish to speak about different subjects and be ok with some and less ok with others, and that can change from Alter to Alter.

3: in-system abuse can be a real thing, and some Alters may be a huge problem, or set up rules that are unjust, and if you're a system, keep an eye for these behaviours, and remember: having a healthy, or at least good and non-abusive system dynamic is essential in the long run, i know it can take years, but it's necessary for you and your system.

what is BPD? BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a personality disorder from what is called Cluster B, which are personality disorders that involve unpredictability, extreme emotions, and in general more "explosive" or "chaotic" behaviours, and while that may be true, it's only one aspect of these personality disorders.

firstly, let's go over a few misconceptions about BPD

• people with BPD are just liars, abusive, and manipulative

  • this is not entirely true. people with BPD may have the ability to do these things easily, but it's from many people who have taught it, see, people with BPD "mirror" the people in their life, which means if you're abusive, or manipulate people in a certain way, the person with BPD will do the same, or manipulate you better than you ever could. we learn from copycatting, and become much better at things, so if you're nice, we'll be extremely nice, if you're abusive, we'll abuse you right back, and those skills stay with us because they are typically of use to us, but these are only done in response to you acting this way first in most cases

• BPD is just an excuse to be an asshole

  • this is not the case, no disorder gives you an excuse for your actions, while it may make your actions less of a problem due to people knowing you have that disorder and might expect those reactions, that is understanding, not excusing, and people with BPD typically have extreme amounts of self control and put in lots of work to try and be better, not hurt people, and in general be a good person, and if you point out something that someone with BPD is doing that is hurtful, 9 times out of 10 they will appreciate it because any and all help is great, especially as some behaviours are so habitual that they're subconscious.

next, you may be asking, why do people have BPD? what causes it? well, BPD is typically formed when you had an unstable, or unpredictable caretaker, guardian, and/or adult in your life from a young age, one example is a narcissistic person. from personal experience, one thing i remember is that i would ask to do something and my mom would say "no not now" and when i'd ask for a reason she'd say something along the lines of "not right now because we need to do this and that, but maybe tomorrow" and i'd agree, and the next day i would ask and she'd say "no, not right now, i have this and this and this to do" and in general, give a list of reasons that we couldn't do it today, when the day before she'd said maybe. this is one example of unpredictability and instability, and is mildly manipulative (i was smart enough to understand it wasn't right at the time).

another thing to cover is the emotional intensity aspect of BPD. while BPD rage is very powerful and can be scary, people with BPD have self control enough to walk away, and if they do that, LET THEM, keeping them around is only asking to be lashed out at and hurt, let them walk away. this is true even for people without BPD that if they're mad and walking away, you should let them. on the flip side of this coin, those intense emotions are other things, like joy, and love, so if someone with BPD loves you, in some cases, they would do horrible things for you if needed, because they love you that much. one analogy i like using is that people with "normal" emotions feel them on an intensity scale of 0-100, both internally and physically, and their emotions can change at a rate of 1-2 intensity points per second. however, people with BPD feel emotions with an intensity of 60-200 physically, and mentally from 60-300, and can change at a rate of 10-30 intensity points per second. what that means is our baseline is more than double the baseline emotional intensity of people with "normal" emotions, and our maximum emotional intensity is double their maximum physically, but our mind, inside our mind, that intensity can go past the amount that we can physically express, and that is when splitting happens, because that extra 100 points of emotional intensity can't be expressed and needs to burn off over the course of hours while we have a physical reaction at the maximum during that time. this is typically only induced by fight/flight responses as that's a core component of BPD, but still.

if you know someone with BPD, try to avoid escalating if they are splitting on you, or ask them to take space, or mute them or some other thing until they calm down, and the splitting episode ends, if they are splitting with someone else and venting to you, just hear them out and try to help them stay calm and not lash out, and also be prepared for the chaotic and emotionally intense nature of people with this personality disorder, as things can be a hell of a bumpy ride sometimes. just try to be there for them. also, a personal quote of mine that i made as something to echo this disorder is this: "chaos is the most intoxicating drug for those of us who were made addicts by our past, and getting high isn't a matter of means, merely of self control". it speaks to the childhood trauma, the instability, the addictive nature of the feeling impulsive, and the self control being one of the few ways to help deal with BPD because it can't be treated with medication because of it being a personality disorder. i hope this resonates with someone.

/ay - at you, something directed at you, the reader

/dh - dark humour, jokes that are dark

/ex - exaggeration

/f - fake

/fl - flirt 

/g or /gen - genuine, something with good, genuine, or real connotations

/gq or /genq - genuine question, when you're asking a question that could come off sarcastic and wanna clarify

/hj - half joking, something

/ij - inside joke

/j - joking

/l or /ly - lyrics

/lh - light hearted

/li - literal / literally

/lu - a little upset

/m - metaphor / metaphorically

/nav - not a vent, when you're saying something that can be seen as venting but it's just an example

/nay = not at you

/nbh - nobody here, not directed at anyone present

/nbr - not being rude

/nc or /neg - negative connotation

/neu - neutral / neutral connotation

/nf - not forced, like if you ask a question that answering is very much not needed

/nm - not mad

/nsrs - not serious

/ot - off topic

/p - platonic

/pc or /pos - positive connotation

/q - quote

/r - romantic

/ref - reference

/rt or /rh - rhetorical question

/s or /sarc - sarcastic / sarcasm

/srs - serious

/t - teasing

/wl - white lie, like if you're making a lie that means nothing or for the sake of humor

when using multiple tone tags you can do it in two ways, one is by using multiple full tags like this "you're being soooo annoying /j /s" or by separating them with commas, like this: "wow, why you gotta be like that? /s, j". either way works. tone tags can also be used independently in parentheses "hey, so, my mom is so annoying (she yawns a lot which gets annoying /srs, nav) like she's such a bitch /j". i may also add tone tags to this, or if you want me to add any, let me know <3

the "AAAAH" sound - this sound is used because it's generic, and can be used to be funny, albeit a little annoying in most use cases. it's popular in meme culture and such. i have no clue what the origins of it are, i just know that it started "appearing" in meme videos more and more often

The Darwin Award - this is a fictional award that traces back to Darwinism. it is the award you get for removing yourself from the gene pool by either ending up dead due to stupidity, or by preventing yourself from reproducing such as damage to your, well, stuff down there

The Rules Of The Internet - this is a set of arbitrary rules about the internet due to the behaviour of people on the internet. it's kinda funny, and i have My Own Copy/Version on my site with more details